Hello readers,

What is up What is happening??????????????? (real question)

I was thinking about something silly the other day and figured I’d try and write my thoughts out so it makes more sense.

Girlcode.

It’s not some twee little listicle of cutesy rules about texting your bestie back or hyping her up on instagram. No. It’s a blood pact. It’s the unspoken social contract soldered in the primordial ooze of communal girlhood—the thing that lets you exchange a glance with some random chick in a bar bathroom and know, without a word, that you two would absolutely help each other bury a body if it came to it. It’s not friendship; it’s fellowship. Girlcode is survival. It’s the primal, limbic-brain, genetic residue of covenhood. The leftover evolutionary instinct that says, stay with the pack or die. Back when we were all huddled in caves, picking twigs out of each other’s hair, the ones who stayed together were the ones who made it. You needed someone to watch your back while you foraged or else you became lunch for something with more teeth. The women who protected each other survived, and so somewhere in the double helix of our collective DNA, girlcode got stitched in. We all know what girlcode is, even if we can’t write it all down. It’s in the shared side-eye, the clandestine phone pass under the table, the wordless confirmation that yes, that man over there does look like he’s got bad intentions; let’s get the hell out of here.

And then there are the women who break it. The Benedict Arnolds of the sisterhood. You know them. The girls who side with the guy when he’s clearly in the wrong for the sake of accumulating “man points” (points given to you by men duh). The ones who date your ex with the whiny excuse of “But I didn’t know you still had feelings!” (It doesn’t matter if I’m over her, KAI, it’s about the principle.) The ones who weaponize vulnerability, mining your shared secrets and sprinkling it like glitter over a petty, backstabbing argument. The ones who treat friendship like a networking opportunity or a popularity climb. Users. Tourists. Double agents!!!!!!!!! But the worst violators, imo? The cannibals. The ones who keep you around just to gnaw little pieces off you in front of an audience. The ones who sharpen their personality by attempting to file it against yours. They aren’t outright mean…no, that would be too obvious. They just salt the air with subtle jabs, dissing you under the guise of being “funny.” Just keeping it honest, you know? And the worst part? You can’t even say anything. Because more often than not, this girl is a friend of a friend… an inoperable tumor in your social circle. Either endure the parasite or lose the host. Because if you start removing every person from your life who brings along a social leech, you’ll wake up one day with nothing but your cat and your aggressively curated burned CDs no one will ever listen to. REAL OR FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (real? or fake??)

So why is girl code important? Because women already live in a world that is foaming at the mouth to humiliate them. To betray them. It is structurally built to convince them they’re paranoid, sensitive, or overreacting. Girl code is the antidote. It’s the quiet resistance that says, “I believe you, I see you, I’ve got you.” Without it, every cheating ex, every lying situationship, and every toxic camaraderie wins. Girl code is the last frontier of trust. The final island. A soft place to land. At its core, though, girlcode is metaphysical. It takes the formless, fluid energy of female solidarity and makes it a tangible force. You feel it when a random girl fixes your lipstick at a bar or when an older lesbian cries to you about how hard it was in the eighties. My fellow Americans (or whateva u are), girlcode is a paradox we must respect. Because while it’s instinctual and natural, it’s also learned and reinforced. It’s carved into you through BETRAYAL, the times when some former ride-or-die of yours goes rogue and blows your trust to smithereens. And you learn. You learn what girlcode is by feeling the ice-pick sting of its absence. It’s there in the friend who abandoned you for the racist enby she swore she hated, and in the girl who threw you under the bus at work to impress your boss. You learn that girlcode isn’t just a comfort, it’s a compass. It’s how you find your people. It’s how you keep them. Without it, we’re animals. The world is already clawing at us!!!!!! Patriarchy… violence… the predatory capitalism of the wedding industry!!!!!!!! We NEED girlcode because it’s the only thing that keeps us from fully descending into chaos. It’s our insurance policy against being swallowed by the machine.

And if you’re thinking, “wtaf what happened who hurt her wtaf wtaf” no one ^_^ I’m just dramatic for sport and naturally unwell 👍 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FHEeG_uq5Y

love from nevada,

ipodpuppy (girlcode’s last line of defense) (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) 💌🔪